Gaslighting—it’s a term we hear a lot these days, especially online and in therapy sessions. But what exactly is it? And why is it important to recognize?

Imagine this: you start questioning your own reality, your own feelings, and experiences, because someone close to you keeps insisting that they are wrong. They might tell you things like, “You’re overreacting,” or “That didn’t happen like you think it did.” Slowly, you begin to doubt yourself more and more, until you feel like you can’t trust your own thoughts anymore.

This psychological manipulation technique, termed “gaslighting,” is all about exerting control over another person by undermining their sense of reality. It often happens subtly at first, making you question whether you’re just being too sensitive or paranoid. Over time, it can escalate to the point where you feel completely dependent on the other person to tell you what’s real and what’s not.

The term “gaslighting” originates from a 1938 play called “Gaslight,” where a husband manipulates his wife into believing she’s going insane by dimming the gaslights in their home and denying it’s happening. This constant manipulation makes her doubt her perceptions and memory, leaving her vulnerable to his deceit.

In our everyday lives, gaslighting can take various forms. It might be your partner dismissing your concerns as unimportant or telling you that your feelings are irrational. It could be a friend or colleague subtly twisting events to make you doubt your own version of reality.

Here are a few examples from everyday situations:

1. Questioning Your Feelings: “You’re just overreacting. It’s not a big deal.”
   In this scenario, someone undermines your emotions, making you doubt the validity of your feelings. While this might start innocently, it can become a tactic to manipulate you into accepting their version of events.
2. Blaming You for Their Actions: “I only did that because you made me.”
   This statement shifts blame onto you, implying that their negative actions are somehow your fault. It’s a way of avoiding responsibility and maintaining control over the narrative of the relationship.
3. Invalidating Your Memory: “That’s not what happened. You must be mistaken.”
   When someone tells you that your memory or perception of events is incorrect, it can lead you to question your own sanity. Over time, this constant invalidation can erode your confidence in your own thoughts and experiences.

Recognizing gaslighting is the first step in protecting yourself from its harmful effects. It’s essential to trust your own feelings and perceptions. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re being gaslit, here are some strategies to consider:

• Validate Your Experience: Remind yourself that your feelings and experiences are valid. Don’t let someone else convince you otherwise.
• Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries in your relationships. If someone consistently undermines your reality, assertively communicate that you won’t tolerate gaslighting behavior.
• Seek Support: Talk to a trusted friend, therapist, or counselor who can provide perspective and support. Sometimes, an outsider’s view can help you see the manipulation more clearly.
• Educate Yourself: Learn more about gaslighting and manipulative behaviors. Knowledge is power, and understanding the tactics used can help you resist them.

Gaslighting is a complex and insidious form of psychological manipulation. By staying informed and trusting your instincts, you can protect yourself from falling victim to it. Remember, your reality matters, and no one should have the power to undermine it.

If you suspect you’re experiencing gaslighting or want to learn more about navigating manipulative relationships, reach out for support. You deserve to feel secure in your thoughts and emotions.

Stay empowered and aware. Together, we can recognize and address gaslighting in all its forms.